I’ve decided to make a video collage from bits of the PoU clips in You Tube (yes..very time consuming I know…) hoping to raise awareness of the issue.
The video reached 2000+ views in the space of just a few hours thanks to retweeting and other sharing on social media platforms. I woke up this morning and saw the viewers count at 6000+ : I am amazed!
Even if the funds in Indiegogo are not growing as fast as I wish (I know that without a specific selling point or product to show/pre-buy crowdfunding is notoriously difficult!) I remain optimistic in the power of collective awakening about these issues and the many emails received from supporters along with the growing number of subscriptions to the channel are something which really spurs me to do more.
I would like to publicily thank all the lovely supporters who have written their emails: I hope you will all appreciate that I won’t have the time to reply to each one of you as I am still managing things mostly on my own (will be soon recruiting a team of volunteers so get in touch if you wish to help!) and need to prioritise the writing up of my thesis at this stage 😉
Please keep sharing and don’t forget to subscribe to the blog to keep up to date with our progress and receive new blog posts directly in your email box.
Update Feb 2014: the video was removed by You Tube after I started a petition to remove or disable abusive comments. The visitors count was reaching 134,000 in one week due to Upworthy contribution. I think this shows how much profits can get in the way of ethical conduct. You can still watch the video in Vimeo:
Great video. My mom always told me that if you can be happy with yourself, others will be happy to be around you. I never understood why anyone would base their own happiness on what others thought of them. You made a great video. I hope that it makes at least one girl re-evaluate her opinion of herself.
I couldn’t agree more with your mom there Jessica. As a father who is watching (and trying to teach) his girl learn and grow her values, I can see how challenging it is for them.
You’re right – even if only one girl truly gets the message, it’s worth it.
Great video. I don’t want this to be my daughter in 10yrs. All those girls are beautiful. They don’t need to be told it, they should feel it. So sad. Change needs to happen!
As parents we should really discuss to our kids that beauty on the outside is incomparable to the inside beauty. We should teach them the value that will help them appreciate the unseen beauty of other people and should not compare themselves to celebrities and other people. Each one is unique and have superior characteristics that they should be proud of.
It’s such a hard thing to “teach” because it’s a problem that affects people even into adulthood. It’s one of those things that come with maturity and experience and without experiencing it yourself it’s very hard to convince yourself. It really is a huge shame that this is how the world exists. On a more positive note, though, the exceptions do bring confidence and hopefully people can be more proactive about the issue as everyone becomes more aware that it’s a problem!
Honestly, media has such a huge influence in society and it is sad that it is influencing many people negatively. Not just physically but mentally. You can never believe whats real and whats fake on tv these days. When it comes to being pretty or ugly, it is a matter of confidence. A pretty girl can feel that they are ugly when people are always putting her down in many aspects of her life. Whether it be school, sports, singing, dancing, cooking etc anything that may seem minor, every kid considers it as a failure. And these kids often compare themselves to the people they see on tv. They see that many actors or musicians always look pretty on tv, they seem happy, they look like they are good at certain things but what they don’t realize is that these people on tv are also not really good at many things. It is just that they have many people who work hard to make them look good on tv.
In reality not just kids but grown ups often ask themselves if they are pretty or ugly, because they compare themselves with other people in their age group that seem to be more happy, beautiful, succesful etc. I personally sometimes ask myself…wow justin bieber is only 19? I am 25, what have I done? Another example is that I have so many beautiful girl friends and they don’t even ask, they actually say that they think they are so ugly. And i’m like “what?…you are gorgeus and 100 other people can vouch for that”. But she was only asking that because shes had so many failed relationships and she’s looking for a reason why. And I think many girls feel the same and asking if they are pretty or ugly is just one way they can measure themselves. In my opinion when people ask if they are ugly there is a lot of hidden factors that they are associating with it that has a lot to do with their confidence being low.
I just wanted to add that I think one of the best cure for this problem is genuine and constant praise. Not fake encouragement but continuously praise her for the good things she does. Even small things like, oh good job you did your homework, you are so smart. It is not the best example but along those lines. Doing this to them at this critical age, you will see her more confident and she will start to blossom.Also ask her what she is interested in learning, maybe she wants to learn to sing. Also perhaps as a parent ask you child what you want to do, like maybe she wants to join a soccer club, learn to sing, dance, etc. Doing these things and exposing her to such activities she will learn and build character and be surrounded with people who are also learning. And when she gets better, this will give her a sense of accomplishment and be even stronger.
It is sad state of affairs when media popular television and magazines have left these girls to question this. Good versus evil ugly versus pretty , this is a pressure too often forced upon youngsters and adults as well to wear certain clothes, follow a certain style. I understand the longing to be part of a group to be the most popular, surely to be happier not conceding to popular culture and giving them the tools to be more confident individuals is more important than trying and wanting to be the best. Life is what you make of it, not the life others want to make for you.
Videos like that make me physically queasy. I’ve always been a guy who sympathises with girls because my only sibling was a younger sister and we moved around a lot – she was my best friend. This meant that most of my other closer friends were girls, to the point that I get nervous meeting guys, especially very “blokey” ones as often I actually hate what they do and how they treat women. My mistrust of men and over-protectiveness when it comes to the girls in my life was justified when recently babysitting a friend’s 8 year-old daughter. She is cute as anything, outgoing, pretty, smart (topping some of her classes), has some constructive hobbies, was raised by great parents and to top it off is mature well above her age – she actually decided to become vegetarian of her own accord. I was shocked to find out she has massive self-esteem issues about her looks as in every other way she seems to be a dream child that any parent would be proud of.
She obsesses about makeup and her “monobrow” (which is minor and less severe than my own) and it seems so out of character, it breaks my heart. I am not sure how to help her, and her mother is of course trying to teach her that other people’s opinions don’t matter. While it’s probably not a guy’s fault directly I still see it as a cultural and social issue exacerbated by the attitude of men and media outlets that are likely run by men. It makes me a little ashamed. All I can really do is point out how miserable my wife and I were, and how over-the-moon happy we are now. It took us into our mid-late twenties to find that someone, but we found them and we’re in love for who we are and the relationship is infinitely stronger and more satisfying than any others simply because of that.
It’s tough for anyone, self-esteem wise. I had to go through my own anxiety issues due to how I saw myself but of course now I make up for it with what some would call misplaced confidence 😛 but it’s only getting tougher on kids. Especially with the internet and social media you’re really putting yourself out there – and at least half of the people out there want to make you feel bad whether you deserve it or not. As a recently married man who is planning on having kids in the next few years, it makes me sick with worry that this could happen to my own children, particularly a daughter. Until I figure something else out it might even be that we have to ban our future daughter/s from social networking until their late teens – not something I look forward to explaining to them.
Sorry for the small essay here, but it’s an issue I really do care about and I am guessing it’s rare to have men so passionate about the problem too. I am eager pass it on to the friend I babysit for and hopefully if anything comes up where myself or anyone else can make a difference we will be in a position to grab it with both hands.
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I do not believe it is the media’s fault as much as it is their peers’ fault. People mainly measure themselves against other people they go to school with, work with, etc. If a girl is called ugly a few times in school nothing is going to get that thought out of her head. The girls in these videos are doing it for reassurance that they are not ugly, in my opinion. Their family and people they know can tell them all day that they are beautiful but they know those people would never say anything but that. It basically means nothing to them to hear they are beautiful from their parents. To get a total stranger online to say you are beautiful is at least considered an objective opinion. I believe fixing this problem, as bad as it is, is nearly impossible
I was brought to tears by this video, knowing that my step daughter could be in this group asking this. And it hits home from when I was a kid being told I was ugly. That has stayed with me through my life. It does damage for life. So to anyone feeling tempted to tease or joke about someone else’s appearance I would say don’t be ugly by judging someone.
The fact that these beautiful young women went on social media to ask if they’re ugly, is really depressing to me. I’m very sad to see young girls who have a big future go this route. They’re beautiful young women who shouldn’t worry about looks. And I realize that – may be dumb to say – but we need to start somewhere. Women have such a hard time when it comes to the media pushing ways a girl should look, we should be pushing why looks don’t mean a damn thing anymore.
We’re all beautiful, and the sooner all women get that the better. And if it’s about finding love, there’s love for everyone, trust me.
I think this comes down to a few factors; bullying, the media portrayal of women and parenting. Stars especially need to step out and say enough is enough. I have young cousins and nieces that have dealt with bullying though, and it is usually because a girl finds another girl more beautiful and so she torments her. It’s sick, but this is the sad consequence of the culture we live in and girls seem to absorb this message very early in life. We need to realize that looks are meaningless, and that will be hard to do when that’s all men and women seem to locate on these days.
Wow. I really hate to hear that YouTube removed the video. This is a legitimate cause! I have heard that YouTube has done this to another person.
Heck, why does YouTube remove any video? That is not right at all.
6000 in just one day? That’s wonderful! I think that the popularity of this video just goes to show that this is a legitimate, relevant, and important issue and that many people (6000!) immediately recognized it as such. It’s utterly ridiculous that Youtube would remove the video. Did they give you a reason?
Watching this video really kind of made me sad. I am not sure how I feel about it. I guess because I am not sure what the project was and maybe this is why YouTube removed the video? They are unaware of what mediasavvygirls.com is trying to accomplish?
I wish all girls knew how pretty they are inside and out…..ugh…
Very good video – it breaks my heart to see little girls who think they aren’t good enough. I think the solution is complicated, and media plays a role, but not everything. I used to starve myself, hate my face, wear shovels of makeup, spend way too much money on my hair, etc. It took finding this inner peace for me to feel free from it. I hope when I have a daughter she will be able to speak about her passions and do what she loves, and in doing so, she will find the empowerment I have.
That said, being pretty is not a bad thing. Trying to be pretty is not a bad thing. At all. I do it, I try to stay in shape and do my hair decently and buy clothes I feel good in. But you have to be in the right mental place!